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The Gussie Special..............The Diary of a Busy Mouse...............

The “We’ve Been There” Section -

Halse in Somerset.

The G20 and a bit

MK

The Report of President Gus -

Now about this global warming business.  I have a problem with some of the logic I have heard.  I’m told that we have to get rid of petrol and all cars will be electric, but I can’t figure out how we get the electricity without making more of those greenhouse gases.  Then I’m told that we have to eat less meat so that we can get rid of loads of cows because they cause a bit of a stink from time to time, but I thought we were supposed to protect animals so do I take it we have to keep snakes and tarantulas but make cows an endangered species by reducing their numbers? Do you lot really think that McDonald’s should change a perfectly good recipe and get rid of hamburgers - Ah, I hear a murmur of agreement from my good pal, Don Trump, on that one.    If cows do go into that category of rarity, won’t we have to increase their numbers like we do with other critters, usually ones we don’t actually want?  And, getting back to the petrol thing, are we supposed to go back to a horse and cart and, if so, can we have horses because they too are rather inclined to pong a bit so they will have to go at the same time as the cows.  And as for getting rid of plastic, well the theory may be OK, but if anyone can tell me how I can bring home a portion of coleslaw, a chilli and a slice of cheesecake in a paper bag without some kind of culinary disaster, then I would be very interested to know why.  These are my main points, Ladies, Gentlemen and you-know-who.  My parting request is that, next time I attend, I would like to choose my own seat!!!!

I heard the Brits were without a decent player this year, so I’ve stepped in.  Met this guy so gave him a few tips.  

Bit worried about the height of the net and I can’t seem to find my frilly knickers!  (May have to play without!)

Read All About It!!!  - The Gussie News

Just a few headlines from the next edition of my personal newspaper:

“When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked!”

“Car Hits Boy: Car damaged”

“Weight Watchers demonstrator shoplifts cupcakes”.

“Florida couple arrested for selling tickets to heaven.”

“Highway 4 bypass overpass bypassed.”

“China may be using sea to hide its submarines.”

“Government says new Bay Bridge won’t open until it’s ready”  (Phew, that’s a relief!)

“Quintuplets born 15 months early”

“Madonna reads her 2nd book.”

“Drinker threatened man with Cream Egg”

“Fargo man arrested for clearing snow with a flamethrower.”

“Attention - Federal Employees with work-related Hearing Loss - Listen to this special offer!”

“Slowdown continues to accelerate.”

“I ran naked into a cactus.”





Trouble in Berrystead……………….

It would appear that Mrs Owl has been afflicted with the same dreadful problem which her husband experienced over a year ago.  She was today spotted with only one eye.  That world famous fixer, Ali France, has been summoned and will attend to the patient as soon has she can find the glue.  

The Penstemons are flowering again.

HOT!!! Off the Press

The Cambridge Food Festival is, at this time, judging the best chilli maker in the world.  Gus would like it known that this is not a bona fide event as he has already interviewed every single member of the MucKbusters customer base and can assure all readers that there is only one Champion Chilli Maker (you ask the Mams!!)

Improve your English with Professor Gustavus

 Knowalot

Want to impress your friends or win lots of points on quiz shows?  Try using these clever words.  

  1. Today, I have been boondoggling but no one noticed.
  2. I am an expert in griffonage.
  3. I have a wamble in my tum.
  4. I’m trying to scratch my acnestis.
  5. Luckily, I don’t have any akrasia.
  6. I’ll get up as soon as I’ve pandiculated.  
  7. Oh no, I’ve just defenstrated!
  8. Must do a scurryfunge before my visitors arrive!

Just in case you want to know what you said -

  1. That’s the same as busy doing nothing.
  2. That’s means you have untidy handwriting.  
  3. Time for lunch, it would seem!
  4. No, it’s not a rude one.  It’s the part of your back you can’t reach (which I believe grows larger with advancing years.)
  5. You probably do.  They’re bad habits.  
  6. Yes, we all like a good stretch in the morning.  
  7. Don’t panic.  You just threw something out of the window.  
  8. Yes, that’s a great word for a quick tidy and clean up.

Bored with your hairstyle?  What about………..

And have your nails done too!