© Lynne Hall and Alison France 2005-
The “We’ve Been There” Section -
Halse in Somerset.
The G20 and a bit
The Report of President Gus -
Now about this global warming business. I have a problem with some of the logic I have heard. I’m told that we have to get rid of petrol and all cars will be electric, but I can’t figure out how we get the electricity without making more of those greenhouse gases. Then I’m told that we have to eat less meat so that we can get rid of loads of cows because they cause a bit of a stink from time to time, but I thought we were supposed to protect animals so do I take it we have to keep snakes and tarantulas but make cows an endangered species by reducing their numbers? Do you lot really think that McDonald’s should change a perfectly good recipe and get rid of hamburgers -
I heard the Brits were without a decent player this year, so I’ve stepped in. Met this guy so gave him a few tips.
Bit worried about the height of the net and I can’t seem to find my frilly knickers! (May have to play without!)
Read All About It!!! -
Just a few headlines from the next edition of my personal newspaper:
“When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked!”
“Car Hits Boy: Car damaged”
“Weight Watchers demonstrator shoplifts cupcakes”.
“Florida couple arrested for selling tickets to heaven.”
“Highway 4 bypass overpass bypassed.”
“China may be using sea to hide its submarines.”
“Government says new Bay Bridge won’t open until it’s ready” (Phew, that’s a relief!)
“Quintuplets born 15 months early”
“Madonna reads her 2nd book.”
“Drinker threatened man with Cream Egg”
“Fargo man arrested for clearing snow with a flamethrower.”
“Slowdown continues to accelerate.”
“I ran naked into a cactus.”
Trouble in Berrystead……………….
It would appear that Mrs Owl has been afflicted with the same dreadful problem which her husband experienced over a year ago. She was today spotted with only one eye. That world famous fixer, Ali France, has been summoned and will attend to the patient as soon has she can find the glue.
The Penstemons are flowering again.
HOT!!! Off the Press
The Cambridge Food Festival is, at this time, judging the best chilli maker in the world. Gus would like it known that this is not a bona fide event as he has already interviewed every single member of the MucKbusters customer base and can assure all readers that there is only one Champion Chilli Maker (you ask the Mams!!)
Improve your English with Professor Gustavus
Want to impress your friends or win lots of points on quiz shows? Try using these clever words.
Just in case you want to know what you said -
Bored with your hairstyle? What about………..
And have your nails done too!