1. 2.3. 4. 5. 6.
© Lynne Hall and Alison France 2005-
A few examples of published letters and articles which may not mean quite what they say.
A Street in the Past:
Hail to the Redsk………
Whoops, not allowed to sing that anymore!!!
Hail to the Packers instead….and the Rams……and the Chiefs…… in fact, anyone who can win!!!!!
Stockholm police are looking for a thief who took a small house from a Stockholm suburb.
Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler’s Mother, not Hitler’s Mother that was exhibited at the recent meeting of Pleasantville Methodists. There is nothing to be gained by trying to explain how the error occurred.
Donald’s father told the court that his son’s personality had completely changed since the accident. His career in the catering industry was finished because of the accident and he still carried a chip on his shoulder.
Take a teacupful of flour and mix it with a teacupful of caster sugar and a teaspoonful of baking powder; break two eggs into a cup, then slide into the mixture.
For two months the sewer in the main street of Lakehurst, New Jersey, was clogged up. Workmen discovered that an outsize bra was causing the trouble. (This was published in a magazine called Tit-
The winner of the competition to guess the number of sweets in the Jar was Mrs B… who will therefore travel to Majorca by air, spend five days in a luxury hotel (all inclusive) and fly home via Paris, without any need to spend a penny.
The bride wore a Spanish influenced dress with high neck and frills on the sleeves. The dress which was gathered at the back then fell gently to the floor.
Rev J Towney has spoken in the largest Baptist churches in America. To miss hearing him will be the chance of a lifetime.
After eight years searching the Parish Register for a name to match the initials H.W.P. on a stone slab in his church, the Rev Phillip Randall, of Eye near Peterborough has solved the mystery. The initials stand for Hot Water Pipe.
The speaker told of his adventure with a perilous bra constrictor.
To repair damaged tablecloths, first lay the tablecloth flat, with the hole uppermost.
Note on a photocopier -
Hayley’s New Home
Newman in Western Australia where Hayley is now teaching. We can only hope it goes well for her as she is teaching Aboriginal teenagers who don’t want to be in school and keep talking in their own language so she can’t understand them. Sounds like fun! Below is her little house.
Debbie’s pot of flowers.
Book Review from Jan
Hi Lynne and Al,
What can I say!? Once again you have excelled in your work with an absolutely amazing account of Lee’s ancestry! I have read quite a lot but my eyes as they currently are won’t allow me to read for too long but it’s a fascinating book! We will take it to Lee tomorrow afternoon and I’m sure he’ll love it!
Thanks so much too for the other additional books you have sent for me to read which I shall start reading next week.
Once again, thank you so much! The book is so incredibly detailed and professional as always. I know I keep saying but you’re both amazing as are your mums for helping!
Sending many many thanks as always.
At the time of a census, the enumerator gave the occupations of the neighbours of the family being researched as six “unfortunates” and two prostitutes. Sounds nice, eh?
Thinking of downsizing? What about this little red house?
New Lockdown Regulations
Along with all the other stuff, you are now forbidden to swim/paddle in these places.
Our Changing World
Not as expected………..
The baking didn’t turn out quite as the cook planned.
They booked a room with a balcony and a view.
This mother made a birthday cake in the image of their dog.
This mother copied the character from Frozen for her daughter’s cake.
Ah, a room with a view………..
Working in a Call Centre
As a call centre supervisor, I was monitoring a call where the agent asked the customer for the model number of his satellite receiver.
The caller said one moment in an upset tone and after an extended period of time came back saying that he climbed to the roof and looked but could not find the model number.
He started to curse when he was finally made to understand that what was requested was the number at the front of the set-
Working in a call centre for a home accessories supplier and a customer called asking for a blue replacement door for her kitchen that she’d had for ten years. I said that range never had blue doors.
And then it twigged… I asked her to look at the corners and see if she could peel them away because it might just be a protective film.
She put the phone down and 10 seconds later I hear: “Oh my god! It’s the white doors we originally ordered 10 years ago!”
A customer once phoned up to ask: “I’ve been ringing your call centre on 0900 1730 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries. Can you help?”
Operator: “Where did you get that number from, please?”
Customer: “It was on the door to the travel centre.”
Operator: “Ah – they are our opening hours.”
There was a caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
More Book Reviews
Found today -
David C Connell
5.0 out of 5 stars What a page-
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 September 2020
A real find from an unknown author. I devoured this book in a week. A highly original thriller with excellent writing and lots of twists and turns and a plot to die for.
Then two reviews of Good Girl from purchases in the USA. Now he’s world famous!!!
5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put down
Reviewed in the United States on 10 April 2019
Heartwarming with main characters you can't help but sympathise with and like. Although the book deals with some difficult subjects the focus is on never giving up on finding that trust and love
5.0 out of 5 stars an extraordinary book and a page-
Reviewed in the United States on 31 May 2020
Good Girl by Norman Hall is a psychological drama that’s bound to crush people’s heart in smithereens and at the same time, pick up all the torn pieces. Jess is a character with very horrible experiences that made me cringe a lot. The horror that she had to encounter left me thinking that a lot of things in life can’t be controlled, but it’s up to us whether to give up or to keep going on. Jess made the bravest decision to keep going on, and meets an unexpected fate that no one can possibly imagine.
This last reviewer also then bought The Awakening and wrote another review:
The Awakening by Norman Hall is a psychological suspense thriller novel and sequel to Good Girl. The author was generous enough to provide a recap just in case there are consumers who weren’t able to read the first book, but I recommend that you still read it because it’s a great novel. This book also has drama, action, adventure, and romance and has an instant pull that will get you hooked from beginning to end.
I loved the first book and I love this book even more because of the stories within the story. The plot doesn’t only revolve around Jess, it also tells stories about Simon’s rescue mission for Leila, Jess’ daughter, who was taken away from her. I also love the adventure of finding Lisa. The author must’ve been to Nepal, particularly the remote areas of the Himalayas to be able to truly describe the very challenging paths and beautiful sceneries.
Overall, just like the first book, I am also giving this sequel 5 out of 5 stars. This book is packed with different genres, all in one remarkable story. It is very charming, heartwarming, full of action and adventure, very nerve-